Received a call on Tuesday, which is 2 days ago, from NUS Faculty of Science informing me to go for a discretionary interview on Thursday, which is TODAY!

So, woke up early in the morning at 6am.Left house at 7am heading to Buona Vista. Was a bad morning i must say 'cos it's raining heavily when i went out!Tian bu zhu wo yan~! Sigh!So end up getting my legs all wet when i arrived at the mrt station. Thankfully the rain got smaller when i reached BV. i arrived at NUS School of Science block S16 finally after asking 2 students,1 security guard and 1 staff for directions.ok..i noe u must be thinking i've no sense of directions BUT the school is really very big and somemore it's only my second time there and with my blurness, thank goodness i managed to reach the office in time la. So scary lo...walking through those corridors alone,where there's no one to be seen,can only hear my own footsteps.*shivers* Only saw a few cleaners.all the students are in the LTs having their exams i tink.

Anyway,i was the first person to be interviewed by that professor today.couldnt remember his surname le but i think he's from department of Mathematics?i mean he did mention la but i couldnt remember le.Lolx!short term memory.The interview was fine i think.i didnt feel any stress when he questioned me.He even told me about wat kind of results he used to get and he's addicted to reading those 'san guo yan yi' books.yucks!he told me i should try reading them but i was like thinking silently 'no thanks!'haha.Overall,i felt this interview is kind of like a one-to-one conversation with the professor.However, i tink my chance is like wat he told me 1-3% only.they will be interviewing 300+ students and from these,they will admit 100+ into the faculty.so i tink my chances are really small.have to be very lucky cos some of the students shortlisted for interview have straight Bs which i tot was very good le.jus comparing their results,i've lose out already.sigh!competition is getting stronger each year and they are raising their standard as well.i will be thankful if i'm able to get my second choice.

papa has finally agreed to buy a laptop for me!i've ordered ytd online at my cousin's house.bought a dell notebook!tink they'll be delivering it in 5-7 days!so excited!den tink i'll be going to sign up for singtel broadband either today or tomorrow with pa.finally i'm gg to use an internet account of my own!so happy!

Looking forward to the long weekend this week!It's labour day on monday and tuesday is company's discretionary holiday!!!no work no work!yay!

Sigh. Heard a piece of good news from jenny today. But to me it’s not. Am happy for her really, however, somehow, it jus made me feel very insecure. Sigh. It left me wondering…what if I got accepted but not to the course I want to study? What if I’m not even accepted to either one of the Uni?? It’s too late to apply to poly now I guessed. Oh dear…what am I going to do???

Perhaps what my parents predicted was right. For once, I’m beginning to trust their predicament. My parents are pessimists when it comes to these things. They don’t have confidence in me and I guessed that’s why I end up being so pessimistic. I mean, how am I able to believe that oh I’m sure going to make it when they keep reminding me that it’s so competitive and my results are like shit compared to those others that have applied. Duh~ can’t they be more encouraging? Sometimes I dun even bother to give them any response. I’ll jus sit there and hear what they have to say. When I told them maybe there’s a 1% chance, they’ll jus asked me not to get my hopes too high. Well, then fine lo. What can I do? And when I really dun get in, they’ll say it’s because I didn’t work hard consistently and always did my studying at the last minute. Sigh. Great parents I have. Their opinions are always so extreme and that is why I never bother to share with them how I feel.

Haven’t really sit down and talk with my dad for quite some time. Or maybe I should say I never talk to him face to face on whatever things. I think our conversations always lasted for less than 15 min. and the only time we get to talk is during meal time. Mostly dinners on weekends. He has been working late these days and by the time he settles down, I’m already preparing to go to bed. My father is one soft spoken man but when he flares, he’ll start raising his voice and that’s scary. Since I’ve been working, I felt that my mum is becoming more money-minded in a way. Am too lazy to write about it. But sometimes her attitude jus irritates me and I’ll start wondering is money THAT important? She even asked me to pay her back a few dollars which she’d paid for some things I’ve bought and many other occasions. Haiz.

Back to the topic, I really dunno what I’m going to do if I’m not accepted. And one more thing is what if I’m only accepted to the Arts & Social Science Faculty? Although I find psychology quite interesting, I dun tink psychologist in Singapore is very much recognized. Worse, I’ve forgotten whether I put Arts & Social Science as my third choice or Business! That’s bad bad BAD! Sigh! I tink the result will be out latest by mid May cause we’re supposed to submit our acceptance online from 2 May to 5 June if I haven’t remember wrongly.

Release of Application Results
After the last week of April 2006

All candidates who have applied for NTU course(s) will only be notified through letter posted to the mailing address stated in your application.

Not true! Now is not even the last week of Apr and some applicants have received already! =.=

Well done. Got pissed off first thing in the morning all thanks to my colleague (shall not name who she is). 2 days ago she asked me to send some agreements through DHL and there was one with a name card attached so that I know the address and person to send to. Well, and this morning she came to ask me where is the name card. Well, I threw it away thinking it’s jus for my reference and she didn’t ask me to return to her THAT day after I sent out all the agreements! So is this my fault? She goes ‘sucks shit and blah..’ because that card belongs to one of the managers who’ve asked her to send the agreements. It jus pissed me off because it’s not the first time that she has given unclear instructions! If she’d told me to return the card to her ON THAT DAY, of course I wouldn’t have threw it away! Now, she’d made me feel guilty because I think part of the responsibility lies on me too. This is jus GREAT!

It’s not the first time I’m pissed off by her. I’m not sure is it because I have nothing to do and she jus has to find some work for me no matter what. It’s ok with me if it’s work. HOWEVER, sometimes she asked me to go to the printer to help her collect her printouts! Is this work?! Or jus her mere laziness? Not jus this, I’ve become her ‘legs’ in a way. She’ll asked me to go down to the 17th floor (another department but still under our company) to collect or pass some documents. I think all the people downstairs know who I am le lor. Because I went up and down like more than 3 times per day! Never mind I shall accept it as a form of exercise. But I jus can’t accept her laziness la! It’s not as though she don’t have legs of her own! And she always claims she’s very busy but I can hear her talking and laughing happily with our boss. Urgh! I’m not saying she’s mean or bad or whatever la. It’s jus sometimes these things happen and I cant say no when she asked me to do things right? If I’m unhappy with her the whole time I think I wont be working here till now. Ha. I know it’s bad saying bad things here behind her back but she’s not going to read this anyway. I’m jus trying to vent my frustrations. Please do understand.

Pros of working
- earn money and on the other hand allow time to pass faster
- can get to eat snacks not found in SG (usually given by guests from jap) =D
- gain weight (I’m not quite sure if this is a pro. Lolx)
- gain experience (in filing, photocopying, serving coffee to guests, escorting guests, processing invoices?) =/
- get to know more people (I won’t consider my colleagues as friends cos I tink there’s a line drawn between us. The feeling of hanging out with them is jus different. Most probably because there’s a generation gap? Shrugs.)
- can go bugis to shop after work!lolx!
A bit sad but that’s all I could think of.

Cons…
- the need to wake up early (hee... I need at least 8hrs of sleep each day. So, have been turning in by 1030 on weekdays for the past few weeks. keke..)
- get sandwiched between Singaporeans who’re rushing to work or back home in the MRT.
- Tummy is showing most probably because I’m sitting most of the time after meal.
- Will die earlier as I’m absorbing radiations from the computer for 7 whole hours per day.
- Skin becomes dry due to the air-con
- Handle demanding managers/colleagues
- Difficulty in finding time to meet up with friends
- No shuai ges (hahaha! That’s not the main point.=P)
- Bored when there’s nothing to do
- Bored and still bored…haha.

“Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run too fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift…
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Enjoy the music
Before the song is over.”

Random thoughts.

Realized yesterday during dinner that I haven been to Malaysia for almost a year already. That’s a long time. And according to my parents, quite a lot of things have happened. Conflicts mostly. Sigh. Shall not say it here. It’s such a disgrace. Anyway, I was hoping to go back during June when I’ve stopped working by then. One thing I’m not looking forward to is my aunts and uncles asking me about my results. Adults like my parents will never remember the ‘A’s or ‘B’s you get. They’ll only hear the ‘D’onkeys and ‘E’lephants and they’ll start all those crap about not studying hard enough and blah. That is so irritating. How I wish they can get the chance to go to school these days and experience all the stress that we faced. Then, maybe, they’ll realized that grades aren’t that important. It’s the knowledge and values that we’ve gained that is.

Back to my relatives, from my experience, what they’ll most probably say is ‘aiya, not bad liao’. But who knows whether they really mean it or not. Sometimes when people have too high hopes on you, you will tend to feel guilty or like kind of let them down when you have not perform to their expectations. I still remembered the day when the ‘A’ lvl results was released. I couldn’t hold back my tears when I saw my grades. Partly is because my 2 closest friends in class got better results than me and I happened to receive my result slip after them. At that point of time, I was really really disappointed. I called my mum to break the news and what she said made me feel even worse. It’s not that she blamed me for not putting enough effort. It’s because she comforted me as I’m crying over the phone, choking on my words as I spoke. Hearing her said it’s ok since I’ve tried my best already make me felt that I’ve let her down in a way. I would rather she accused me of being lazy or whatever because that’s what she always said when I flunked my tests or exams. Well, I think it’s really rare hearing comforting words from her and I don’t wish to hear it the next time I take my exam results because I wouldn’t want to get lousy grades again.

Therefore, I think sometimes we tend to make people feel worse with our good intention of trying to console them. For me, jus a hug will do. You dun have to say a word of consolation. =)

However, what worries me most now is whether the Uni will give me my first choice. I’ll cry if they give me the third choice and after. I shall pray hard and stay pessimistic. Haha! I would rather stay pessimistic than keep my hopes up and get disappointed in the end when everything collapses and the debris being laid in front of me. Leaving me helpless.

Quoted from one of the blogs I’ve read today.
love like you have been hurt.
dance like no one is watching.
love like you have never been hurt.
sing like no one is listening.
live like it is the last day of your life

The pessimistic version.
why love if you have been hurt before.
why dance if no one bothers.
why love if you have never been hurt before.
why sing if no one wants to listen.
why live, if it would be your last day soon.

I was a bit confused after I read this. But it left me thinking.

解脱 - 张惠妹

爱是不夜城 回忆像星辰

热泪越沸腾 我越感觉有点冷

变了心的人 越想越伤人

枯坐到清晨 阳光替房间开了灯

想 若结局一样 又何苦再想

伤 若让人成长 我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱 是肯承认这是个错

我不应该还不放手

你有自由走 我有自由好好过

解脱 是懂擦干泪看以后

找个新方向往前走

这世界辽阔 我总会实现一个梦

心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头

不要爱我的人再担心我

got nagged by my parents ytd for gg out for 3 consecutive days (good friday,sat & sun).sigh!spent alot of money as well.shit!i need to sheng chi jian yong from today onwards till end of this month.no more shopping trips for me!but next mth there's mother's day wor.arhz!jus realized been working for more than 3 mths but my bank account haven even reach 2000.abit sad.shows that i've been spending more than wat i've earned.this is BAD.....

my parents dun ground me but i'm gonna ground myself for the next 2 weeks (but can have exceptions for someone..hee =p) anyway..have yet to tidy my locker...papa haven agreed to sign the broadband...sigh sigh sigh...i wanna go online.i dun like the feeling of blogging here where my colleagues will walk past once in a while and it feels not right surfing net here.darn!i wan broadband!!!i wan use my comp at home!!

boo...this is gg to be a LONG....week.can't wait for the weekend to come!

so excited!tmr gg shopping with jen and pL!den sat gg watch ICE AGE 2!BUT...have feeling my 'hao peng you' is coming to visit me.sigh...am praying hard it wun ruin my weekend.all right...gg home soon le!now waiting for jen...always have to wait for her de...den stoning at my seat...hahaha!

shall blog again soon!hope my papa will agree to go sign up the starhub maxonline this weekend!shall remind him again and again and again...hehehez!=P

Moths are very ugly creatures. At least that is what I always thought until a reliable source told me otherwise. When I was about five or six years old, my brother Joseph and I stayed overnight at our Aunt Linda’s house, our favorite relative. She spoke to us like adults, and she always had the best stories.
Joseph was only four years old, and still afraid of the dark, so Aunt Linda left the door open and the hall light on when she tucked us in to bed. Joe couldn’t sleep, so he just lay there staring at the ceiling. Just as I dozed off to sleep, he woke me up and asked, “Jennie, what are those ugly things near the light?”(I had always liked that he asked me questions because I was older and supposed to know the answers. I didn’t always know the answers, of course, but I could always pretend I did.) He was pointing to the moths fluttering around the hall light. “They’re just moths, go to sleep,” I told him.
He wasn’t content with that answer, or the moths near his night light, so the next time my Aunt walked by the door he asked her to make the ugly moths go away. When she asked why, he said simply, “Because they’re ugly and scary, and I don’t like them! ”She just laughed, rubbed his head, and said, “Joe just because something is ugly outside doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful inside. Do you know why moths are brown?” Joe just shook his head.
“Moths are the most beautiful animals in the animal kingdom. At one time they were more colorful than the butterflies. They have always been helpful, kind, and generous creatures. One day the angels up in heaven were crying. They were sad because it was cloudy and they couldn’t look down upon the people on earth. Their tears fell down to the earth as rain. The sweet little moths hated to see everyone so sad. They decided to make a rainbow. The moths figured that if they asked their cousins, the butterflies, to help, they could all give up just a little bit of their colors and they could make a beautiful rainbow.
One of the littlest moths flew to ask the queen of the butterflies for help. The butterflies were too vain and selfish to give up any of their colors for neither the people nor the angels. So, the moths decided to try to make the rainbow themselves. They beat their wings very hard and the powder on them formed little clouds that the winds smoothed over like glass. Unfortunately, the rainbow wasn’t big enough so the moths kept giving a little more and a little more until the rainbow stretched all the way across the sky. They had given away all their color except brown, which didn’t fit into their beautiful rainbow.
Now the once colorful moths were plain and brown. The angels up in heaven saw the rainbow, and became joyous. They smiled and the warmth of their smiles shown down on the earth as sunshine. The warm sunshine made the people on earth happy and they smiled, too. Now every time it rains the baby moths, who still have their colors, spread them across the sky to make more rainbows.”
My brother sank off to sleep with that story and hasn’t feared moths since. The story my aunt told us had been gathering dust in the back corners of my brain for years, but recently came back to me.
I have a friend named Abigail who always wears gray clothes. She is also one of the most kind and generous people I’ve ever met. When people ask her why she doesn’t wear more colors she just smiles, that smile, and says, “Gray is my color.” She knows herself and she doesn’t compromise that to appease other people. Some may see her as plain like a moth, but I know that underneath the gray, Abigail is every color of the rainbow.

By J ennie Grattonfrom Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul III

Went kbox ytd with pL and jenjen.at jen’s hometown as she’d insisted.lolx!=p we sang from 130pm to near 7pm wor!so high!nobody come chase us somemore!sang until very shuang..den aft dat my throat abit sore.haha!but me sooooo long nv go kbox liao!den abit chi dun..dunno wat song to dian!hahaha!=X been living in my own world all tis while…lolx!anyway,really enjoy myself!aft which we went to pasta for dinner.ordered a seafood pasta and banana pizza for dessert!!!was nice..but not filling enough.woke up in the middle of the night ytd to find my stomach rumbling =S.

den was my confession to jen and pL abt something I’ve done on april fool’s day but didn’t succeed.actually I jus wanted to see the reaction but it turns out otherwise.the reply took me by surprise jus as my sms did the same to him.haha!well…serve myself right now dat im so fan nao.boo~ a lot of things need to be considered and deep inside…I’m afraid.have been wounded once and dat make me lose confidence in myself.i dun wanna get hurt again and I dun wanna hurt other ppl as well.sigh…wat to do?I really dunno…I really really am considering…(not so much abt the height factor =X) didn’t noe tis kinda thing can disturb me so much.told him I’ll give an answer this week…*screams* how how how???

okay..no more talks abt that for now.ytd’s campus superstar so nice~!!!zhiyang rox lor!!!all the songs he sang ytd so very nice leh!he’s cute too!kekez!so happy he won!yay!and this show cause me to be so sleepy today at work.dunno yawn how many times liao -_-!shall sleep early tonight!but still no air-con…so warm…dat stupid air-con in my room spoil lor!sux~den the repairman can only come this Friday!torturous~~~!

Hmm…today is jen’s last day of work!ate our ‘last’ breakfast this morning at Crawford Court.haha!gg to miss her after she stops working here =(.nobody to go collect mail with me.nobody to go home together with liao.i’m gonna miss jenjen!!!*cries* I know she’ll miss konglong also am I right?eh,nonono…she’ll miss her miyake more!!!*sobz sobz*

I wanna sign up the starhub broadband but papa abit reluctant leh.hmm…mus think of a way to persuade him…canot go online very tong ku ah…lolx!=p I haven use msn for like more than 3 mths liao wor!!!I dun wanna be outcast!

Wah!!so happie!!jus receive a piece of good news!jenjen is working till end of may!!!yay!!!same as me!!wahahaha!!!jus went to collect mail with her and she told me!so funny.cos she already gave the gifts to her colleagues thinking dat it’s her last day today!I’m happie!but jen’s mummy is not gg to be cos jen’s mummy is lonely without jen’s accompaniment.dun worry la!she still have padi to pei her ma!hee..=P

konglon9.3rd Febber.aquarius.



May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009

Basecode | froodlecake
Images | Shabby Princess