Diary~♥

crappie

Thursday, August 10, 2006 |1:41:00 AM

i added her.and i dun even noe why i did dat?dat was like last weekend i tink.i dun intend to mention it here but she accepted and i bet she would wondered why i added her.realized she has a blog and well,u can say i'm nosey and being nosey i went to read of cos.i admit i was feeling jealous when reading some of her entries.reading her blog and looking at her pics somehow jus make me feel very inferior.my self-confidence was never at all high i must say.i noe i shldnt be feeling this way or trying to make myself feel this way cos everybody has their own uniqueness and good points.but cant help it cos i cant convince myself wat good points i have.still feeling quite awake,i went to read almost all the entries and found out dat she has once been through similar situations as me.but jus dat i have/am faced/facing those situations now.maybe i should have done wat she did but perhaps my determination wasnt strong enough for me to do so.or maybe i jus couldnt bring myself to do dat yet.i was wondering whether is it really true dat the best way to forget or let go is to go into another relationship?i've tried,but i guessed my heart was jus too easily shakened.and i agreed dat relationship only spelled trouble.T-R-O-U-B-L-E.of cos there are some sweetness in midst of it but they usually dun last do they?feijie told me i shldnt restrict myself becos of all those unhappy things dat have happened when i said i would probably stay single during Uni.-shrugs-who noes?was real jealous and envious of those couples who walked hand-in-hand passed me ytd to go watch the fireworks at esplanade.i guessed all gals who're single would feel the same way as i do ba.however,i do not want to go into another relationship jus wanting to enjoy the sweet pamperings and the accompaniment.i guessed it really needs some chemistry to be involved.sometimes i do hope to have someone hold my hand,to have someone's shoulder to lean on,to have someone msg me everyday to ask how's my day and blah blah.but when u realize u were into it jus to satisfy urself,jus to kill the loneliness u're feeling deep inside,it aint love anymore.i wonder why do ppl now go into relationships during their -teens?it probably wun last like wat my parents have always said.maybe teens are jus curious or maybe they are jus naive thinking dat everything is gg to have a happily ever after ending.but then again,there's also no guarantee dat things will work out well if u go into a relationship after u stepped into the society to work.it's jus dat things would be slightly different becos ppl may tend to be more serious in a relationship and they will most likely put marriage as their long-term goal.but dat's not the point.wat makes our parents tink dat everything will turn out alright if we step into relationships later in our lives?thus,there's no basis in saying dat things wun last if we start early rite?adults,i dun understand them.maybe i'll do in 2 years' time.ha.i believe through bad times we learn,we reflect on wat we've done and improve on ourselves.through good times,we learn to treasure and appreciate,at the same time love the people around us not considering whether they have been mean or nice.life's like a puzzle,u have to be patient.if one piece lands on the wrong place,u have to pick it up and try another one.if u're lucky u may find the right piece for dat particular corner on ur first attempt.and after each success and failure u faced then will u get a beautiful picture.

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